This has been one of the best and worst summers of my life...

I wrote this weeks ago by the way....oops...

So, I feel like this summer is officially over. I know I have been in school for multiple weeks. But, everyone has now left me to go back to school so....its official.

This has been one of the best and worst summers of my life.

"sometimes I think we skate through life on mediocre emotions" -Marci Williams

I never want to skate through life on anything...especially mediocre emotions....bring on the good stuff...and the bad stuff....the stuff that stops you and makes you feel....really feel. And, that is what this summer did....

Thank you to everyone who shared it with me. I absolutly believe that ....

"I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...I have been changed for good."

I learned a lot about myself and you were all a GIANT part of that.

• I learned that you have to allow yourself to be open to the possibilities.
• Things are not necessarily the way that you thought they were.
• You can not always take what others say as truth.
• Some things may surprise you.
• Making choices is important. And, really bad ones aren't all that bad.
• Everything happens for a reason.
• Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream makes lots of things better.
• Allow people to change your mind and sometimes prove you wrong.
• Live every moment.
• Life is hard and sometimes unbearable.
• You have to process.
• The unexpected can come out of nowhere and change your life forever.
• I have unbelievably amazing people in my life.

Favorite (or most memorable) things from past blogs this summer...

• The YPT Building looks amazing....
• Little Old Ladies....please be aware of Ben Rush.
• "Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got." -Josh Billings....
• I had an interesting conversation recently that made me realize that I am not even a bit open to relationships....crap.
• Little girl’s dresses should come in big girl sizes.
• "Get out the map, get out the map and lay your finger anywhere down,Well leave the figuring to those we pass on our way out of town,Don’t drink the water there seems to be something ailing everyone,I’m gonna clear my head,I’m gonna drink that sun,I’m gonna love you good and strong while our love is good and young"
• My name is not going on that list.
• If you are attempting to hit on me....let me tell you this. Leading with the "fast car you drive" as well as how I am "deprived for not seeing monster truck races"....not your best bet.
• I am a good girl. I promise...I am not pretending. Although I do not doubt that I could be bad if I chose to. I just don’t.
• Lizards look like baby dinosaurs....they are kind of amazing.
• It’s funny. I have known who I am for a long time. And, I have known what I believe for just as long. But, lately I am questioning the reasons behind some of those beliefs or how I came to them....maybe that means that I am growing. But, it is weird.
• "I think you`re the least fucked up person I`ve ever met and that may be as close to the real thing as I`m ever gonna get" -Ani Difranco-
• I am not stupid...maybe a little naive by choice. And, to tell you the truth I would have it no other way.
• I don't want perfection the imperfections are what make us beautiful.
• I am as of now opening my mind to the possibility and not completely shutting it out.
• Girls (you know who you are) you make me laugh. Bets also make me laugh. And you being right is just funny.
• Mr. Vatter I am so glad you are coming to the Sleep Over.....excuse me Slumber Party.
• You are not less than....
• I am so not going to be the sad little old cat lady. NOT happening.
• I like boys....seriously if anyone has been questioning this...its true.
• Poor little Bear got an unexpected hair cut. :(.
• Yes, I have a love for tea.....Yes, I may offer you some. I am such a gramma.
• Panera in the morning after being up almost all night is just mean Miss. Wilsey. Also, that woman was just doing Yoga.
• It is hysterical how people can get caught up in one small, unimportant thing for like 45 minutes.
• Ketchup on salad....gross. But, if you are ever wondering they do have it at Olive Garden.
• The entire summer camp staff out in the middle of the night....not such a good plan.
• I may be in love....with Next to Normal.
• Play by Plays are always better.
• The made piping skills came to good use once again.
• Julia...."Please. You like polite People"
• "Crap, Crap, Crap, Crap Crap" To the tune of RENT
• I am not a chance taker....sad. On the list of things to fix.
• Marci...we are friends because you call me out on my crap. Thank You. Also for a lot of other reasons too :).
• I must see the Joe Video.
• I refuse to EVER spiral down.
• My gramma informed me today that I dress like a floozy. This is not the first time she has done something like this....once she asked me if I was pregnant. Just ask I will gladly explain.
• "I love you the most"..."Not Possible"
• "So do you like barock music?" -hahahaha Oh how I love the Uncle Mike.
• "Thanks for the adventure. Now go have one of your own. "
• I am NOT Kate Monster.
• Sibling relationships amuse me. You can learn so much about a person based on how they interact with their sibling or siblings.
• Graduation pants always better....
• "I'm not a girl, Not yet a woman" - May have been the funniest thing I have seen this week :)
• "If this mannequin was alive his knee would be ticklish" "Oh, are you a mannequin whisperer?"
• Also....Rob, we are officially friends...and this means you should show me the secret open sesame hand shake/ awesome password.
• "You are sluttier than a nun" - Joe Vatter hahaha.....yep that I can officially say I am.
• Some things that I had decided a long time ago...I am not okay with now. It is interesting how you can prepare yourself for something and than realize that you are not actually okay with the things you have made yourself okay with. One thing can set you off. And, as of today my thoughts have changed. ( I know this doesn't really make sense but, its for me)
• "...who loved me like rocking chairs on front porches in the dirty south in the middle of a rainstorm. Some love is like tidal waves earth shattering and great, some like storm clouds, like sunbeams, and yeah grandma like F***ing rainbows"
• "There are people like my gramma who think that love comes in a box with simple easy to use two part instructions"
• Apparently, I am completely undesirable.
• "And if you think that I just don't give a damn, Then you just don't know who I am "
• "The cuteness factor goes from left to right for me" (On a discussion of the Jonas brothers poster at BK with Joe Vatter)
• Face wash works well too....
• I was not the "hot" girl you were expecting....sorry.
• "So is that polyester warm?" or just "hi"
• "We have a pregnant squirrel in the back yard and Rick wont let me feed her pre-natal vitamins" -The Aunt Karen ( You are seriously the coolest)
• "But, you probably just want to finish your coffee without some creepy guy staring at you" - LOVE
• So....You didn't even try...I think I am a little offended.
• Coke on my car= weird...but now it works. YES!
• Me saying "I am just along for the ride" does mean I don't want to make a decision...but more so, that I have no strong feelings one way or the other....therefore I would be happy with any decision made. I WILL let you know if I truly have a preference.
• If I go to jail for something in my life I want it to at least be for something that I whole heartily believe in and am standing up for.
• Do we have chalk in this theatre? Because, I would really like to do a chalk outline joke" -Julia Vatter
• "You should not lead on the mentally unstable ones"
• Unexpected but, flattering.
• "I'm just a girl who cant say yes" - Story of my life.
• I love....skirts that flow when you spin, dance parties to The Police, Good Wine, Eating Dinner Outside, and The Aunt Elizabeth and Uncle Mike.
• "It's okay I have a good friend of mine who is coming in to give us all cootie shots" - Mr. Benjamin Rush
• "I love her, I wish she was my best friend." -Not meant to be said to the person Aunt Elizabeth...
• "No Mummy, I don't want to come back"
• I am completely taken aback. And, shocked, angry, confused, and sad. I have so many emotions that I cant place or describe or give justice through words.
• I don't know why this thing did happen, but this much is clear anytime or anywhere I am there" - Anytime by William Finn
• Someone made a comment that "I am very careful about what I let out" including good and bad things. And, it is very true. I have a little bit of a shield up until you get to know me very well. I don't think that's necessarily bad...it can be...if I refuse to let people in at all....which I sometimes do...
• "Fine is not really a feeling"
• "Shush girl, shut your lips do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips"
• I think it is important to tell the people you care about that you care for them.... I am trying to remember to tell everyone. So, just as a start....
  thank you for being my friend and in my life.
• Yes, I am a picture taking crazy girl right now. But, I feel the need to capture every moment.
• Looks can be deceiving....
• "Hillary acts like a Democrat but thinks like a Republican" - Quote from my father (also false)
• Loving the Mousey rescue picture.
• I dont know what to do and that is difficult. I get it. But, I can't fix it. I wish I could.
• "I could also get hit by lightening. Twice." - Ashley Willsey
• 'Love isn't a feeling it's an ability'
• I am probably as innocent as you all think :)
• Big floppy hats are amazing.
• Amelia Earhart: [Sees Kah Mun Rah's men approaching] Crimey, we've been jimmy-jacked!
• " Well maybe you should at least stop running in the opposite direction" - Jenna Wilcox
• I am not sure that I can be cloned....we could try.... but, it might be difficult. And, weird for brothers to both marry my clones.
• "Trying to fight the things we feel, But some hurts never heal."
• Shirley Temples :)
• It is never going to be like that again. That's hard.
• "If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a noise?" The answer is YES!
• I am normally not this girl. I don't know how to fix it.
• I am STILL in love with a boy named Coley. :)
• I am learning to live with a new reality.
• I have some pretty amazing people in my life.
• "So one minute you are playing indoor soccer and the next you are knocked up." -Jenna Wilcox
• Heather, Shhhh. Live on a magical cloud with me" - Tara Whitman
• "And this is one fucked up seduction"
  

Thank You all for being part of this last summer and part of my life.