This ones for me....

Things change. All the time.

"It captures the love" -and, it so does.

" It isn't just death we have to grieve. It's life. It's loss. It's change."

" That's how you stay alive. When it hurts so much you can't breathe, that's how you survive."

"By remembering that one day, somehow, impossibly, you won't feel this way. It won't hurt this much."

"The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief is that you can't control it."

"The very worst part is that the minute you think you're past it, it starts all over again."

"And always, every time, it takes your breath away."

This is sooooooooooooooooooo NOT okay. Its just not. And, I don't know how to fix it. And, that is the worst part. I cant fix it. I cant control it. I am all about being in control. I feel like I am just here. I am walking around but, I am not me. I don't know how to be me anymore. I just cant. And, there are moments when things feel normal. But, they are just moments. And, than I go to call you, or think you just came around the corner. Or, I hear your voice, or I watch you laugh at me, or smile. Or, I just expect you to be there. I cant breath. I don't want to handle this anymore. I don't know how to. I don't know how anyone can. I don't know how your parents can or your brother can or how days move on. It is not okay. It's unbearable. I don't know how to function. I know you want me to. But, I cant.

And, you left me. I know its not fair and that you did not choose to but, you did. And, so did everyone else. Its irrational but, its how I feel. And, this is awful and wrong. You told me you would still be here.

And, I know its you. It has to be.