Who Knows.....

Originally Posted January 21st 2008

Colorado was lovely, and a little weird.
Joshua Kirk + the grocery store + condoms + me unloading the cart…..and well the statement "God Blesses it now" enough said.
Don't be so hard on yourself….your amazing.
I am
worried
about you.
You are going to get through this.
I am not used to dealing with this anymore.
Please start thinking. I love you. I don't know how much more people can take.
Jake Goldman if I did not know you and you weren't related to Miss. Christine Goldman I would have a little crush on you.
The "tape of love" may be the funniest thing I have ever heard…..check out Flight of the Concords it will make you laugh.
You don't seem to get it. That worries me.
"That's just shows how committed I was to the joke"
"Hey dad are we a hundred percent polar bear?"
I love the YMCA…..it make me smile.
Congrats to Girl Named Kyle and specifically Peter for winning the
best new band in Denver!
Nice Job……
I have a major love for the Goldman family….
Lesbian bars may be better than straight ones….Seriously…..especially country western ones. - I have to end this statement with the fact that I am straight…..I don't want any weird phone calls.
I love my family……
Miss. Katie taught me how to two step…..thank you so very much. Although that is something I should never be allowed to do ever again…seriously.
African dance classes are excessively cool. Katie Bowlby you were fantastic.
I puffy heart pajama's….
Happy Birthday Katie Bowlby……
Mojito's are fantastic.
Guess who brought me a necklace made of really cool glass from Italy……Phillie.
Trust falls at Jumping Adhesive Grasshopper's house off of Kitchen counters are ridiculous. And although it took me forever to do it I FINALLY did. Thanks for believing in me and for lots of fun!
Oh and new friends…..I am excited about those.
Starbucks with old friends literally for an entire day is wonderful. Just enjoying people's company, there is nothing better than that.
Hair cuts by the wonderful Christine Goldman are amzing as well as Beehive day!
I should have been born in the 50's!
Driving around and randomly ending downtown and chai tea egg nog lattes…..smiles.
Thai basil. - mmmmmmm
Getting caught in a tornado AGAIN…..I should not even talk about consuming alcohol.
Breakfast King may be my new favorite place.
National Treasure 2 for the 2nd time might even be better.
Hoodies are meant for scary movies.
I am seriously in love with the book The Irresistible Revolution…..everyone NEEDS to read this book, I will even let you borrow it.
Decisions about what to do next year are difficult.
I am really considering the house…..I adore this idea.
Happy Birthday Mimi…..
Waiters who sit at your table and hit on you freak me out.
Cupcake shops should have Chai tea cupcakes…..it's a must.
Mexican resturaunts with friends are lovely.
Boy Ashley as a host makes me smile.
"You got the GOOD salsa."
"Do you think you would get wet?"
Heather Good I am glad we play.
I need a Disney day.
I don't think the rest of the world can handle the American dream.
Elijah you are hysterical and well I still may make you watch High School Musical 1 & 2.
I love conversations with Jenna and Lauren…..they make so much sense.
I am becoming a bit more intrigued than usual…..it needs to stop……things happen in Gods time.
I have a very different outlook on relationships than I have in the past. Thank you Lauren and Jenna.
Melanie I really enjoy you.
New Years Eve was a blast. And a bit more expensive than I was expecting.
Marci Williams we need to talk now. Oh and tell the boy to step away from the Webkinz......
Kacy- how is yours as well?
Nicole Goldman you are far too kind.
I hope you are loving Mexico!
Christine and I are going on a trip around the world............ in like 3 years.
Thanks for hanging up posters with me.
Julia you are fantastic.
Untill next time.............

The last year of my life...

Originally Posted September 10th 2007

I cant help and feel that this year just wont stop.
It has been going on for far too long now and well I cant handle it anymore.
This year has been a far too full year of sickness.
People get sick. I get that. But, people I know and love dont normally get this sick.
And personally i'm done with it.
It dosnt seem to be fair.
I cant help but cry. I have cryed so much this year. More than anyone should.
My grandfather got sick and i spent a month at a hospital. That was a new experience for me. I hadn't had to deal with death before. At the age of 20 or 21 whatever I am too young for that.
Than Elmo got sick and hes been in the hospital for months now.
I am sick of doctors and hospitals and sickness. And I am sad. And frustrated. And angry.
Now, My dad is at the hospital having tests done and they think he has Leukimia or some kind of other cancer.
And I am scared and done with it all.
WHY wont it just STOP?
My dad is only 50. He is so young. He needs to see me grow up and have children and play with them and LIVE.
This dosn't make sense and I dont know how much more I can handle.
It might be nothing, but things are pointing towards something.
I'm not writting this for sympathy or comments or anything. I just need to get it out.

Ducks.....like rain....and.....

Originally Posted July 14th 2007

So this is going to span over about a month or so. It might be a little random but well most of these blogs are.

Here we go…..Ducks……I like ducks… and so did my Papa.About a month ago my grandmother and Aunt and I were at the graveyard decorating his grave....when my Aunt and I decided that the graveyard definitely needs a duck.One that will go quack, quack, waddle, waddle.So the question is where are we going to get this duck?Here are the options:

1st – a restaurant….now we would of course have to get this duck before they killed him or her. And it would have to be at a fancier restaurant too.

2nd – We could order one online. There are a few sites where you could actually order a duck.

3rd – We could purchase one at a feed store or something.4th – Okay so this is my favorite and it seems most feasible. We could steal a duck. This way the duck will be a wild duck and able to take care of his or her cute little self.The next step was to see if there were any bodies of water in or near the graveyard.I mean it is in LAKE County.

Guess what……
we can't seem to find one.SO…..here's the plan.
We need to make friends with a neighbor... Specifically the one with the fence just behind the gravesite.
We need to put a little kiddie pool behind their house for our lucky duck
to swim in.

Of course we are also going to have to feed our duck and teach him/her how to quack, quack, waddle, waddle away from the staff.
My Mimi just kept laughing at us. And well saying we were crazy…..But, we decided that were going to do it and that Papa would be having a great time laughing at us in heaven.I am sure that he really likes our idea…..SOOOOOOOO were going to do it.

Also interesting Duck fact: They are fully-grown in only 30 days.

BLING should NOT be used in any context ever.
Soggy Bread is well just GROSS ….ask Aaron.
Forrest is NEVER going to win the poking war.
I LOVE Malarkey.
Brothers are fantastic.
The last week of summer camp was tiring but so much fun.
I have to see the Prestige.
Frog's are supposed to have four WHOLE legs.
Yard work can super tire you out.
Forrest is now a fan of Spring Awakening.
So I need to fix my statement... On those who like the Da Bada Bing Boys….I still will not name names…..apparantly the picture is not working so next time.
Again not naming names.

"What took you so long" works in many different parts of my life.And it keeps coming up.

The worst thing about me is that when I get upset it takes me a while to get over it. I don't really don't like that about myself.

Colorado has been a blast.7/11- was crazy.

Did you know that you can get a free slurpie at 7/11 on 7/11. Well now you do. But, what you don't know is the point of this day is to consume as many free slurpies as possible.And if you live in Denver the way to do this is by hitting every 7/11 down Broadway.Including the Quickie Mart (from the Simpson's) that is also on Broadway.Now the best part of the game is to consume all of the 1st slurpie by the time that you get to the next 7/11. This becomes difficult after the 1st
five... and when the 7/11's are about 2 mins. away from each other.

I have now been to the Gothic two nights in a row….each night was a very different feel.

1st night was with Girl Named Kyle – Because Peter (In British accent of course) was playing….(hair?)and it had a layed back….mostly filled with girls feel.

2nd night…I went to see Joe Fornothin – Jacob is amazing.
And this time it was way more of a rock feel.By the way if you haven't checked out Joe Fornothin then you should.Joe FornothinI wasn't expecting them to be that good.I know that's bad. But they were good. Real good.The bassist is 16 and fantastic.The lead singer (bassists brother) is one of those super thin punk looking boys, and well I wasn't expecting that voice to come out of the little boy.Jacob….was super fantastic….I was impressed.
Seriously check them out.

In other news popcorn that cost a dollar should not be as big as the one I got recently…If your walking around a store and you see a popcorn trail... that was left by yours truly.
Oops.

Transformers was far better than I expected. Really. Acting could have been better but, the special effects were quite good.

Harry Potter (In British accent) was quite good as well. I didn't even fall asleep during this one.

Speaking of sleep the other night when I should have been sleeping I instead was watching the crazy red head Conan O'Brian.And he had Mr. Harry Potter himself on.And well that is when I fell in love. I now love Mr. Harry Potter, and well I feel bad because I think he is 17 and that is just not ok. But, I have a newfound likeness for this boy and his cuteness, and fabulous sense of humor.

Habitat for Humanity
was one of the neatest experiences that I have had so far. It was so cool to see how a house can go up with just (well mostly) volunteers.It was wonderful.And there was luckily no rain.We didn't get to lay concrete but, that is ok. It was a good time.
And Jackie, Forrest and I had a wonderful time getting
lost on the way home.

The AB Slider REALLY works your abs….very well.

I Love You Your Perfect Now change….was very good. The Avenue theatre was a cute little black box.Jenna, knew one of the men in the show. But, he also looks quite familiar to me. Now I am not sure why, maybe I saw him in a show at The Littleton Town Hall theatre….or he looks like one of the many actors in the Orlando area. I'm not sure which one.

The DQ is now also an Orange Julius and it looks amazing. WOW!

I am craving some SLAM anyone interested this Sunday?

Smallville Parties are going well….but very slowly…Peter is leaving soon and if we don't watch them all then we are so going to be in trouble.

Jeff Gayle's name is now…..drum roll please……
Jumping Adhesive Grasshoppers
Don't forget to call him that because well he LOVES IT.

I am going to attempt to dye Melanie's hair tomorrow it is going to be fun.

I am so grateful for old friends and dear conversations. They mean so much to me. I have a new look at friends and situations, and events. Thank you for sharing them with me."

I have decided that you and I are going to be friends.""I am prepared to like you very much."

Christine….thank you for a fabulous time dancing. We will find you a GOOD boy…..Anybody know where they hide?

Jenna it has been lovely seeing you. I have missed you so. Your jewelry is wonderful.

Anyway to all of you in Florida:
"I miss you very much and will see you all very soon"


I adore Ewan McGregor.

* "I puffy heart you"
* "I crack heart you"

That's probably enough for now if you have read all of this I am quite impressed…..are you stalking me?
If so please stop and make you're self known.

Signed,
HD or High Definition

...

Originally Posted June 16th 2007

HELLO again friends.... it has been far too long since my last blog, but life has been busy....
Here is what is new.......
So summer camp has engulfed my life.....I mean for real.....Baystreet from 9am to 4 on a good day.
But it was fun I worked with some great kids and we had a good time.
Billy Goats Gruff was adoreable.
Alice... although very goofy was super fun...
80's flashback
(at least to the four years that I was in it)
The highschool class did Company of wayward saints and I was seriously impressed.
Over all it was fun and well now its over.....

Time to rest......

Or so I thought but here we go again.........

this time its a musical theatre camp and I have the oldest group this should be interesting.....BUT AGAIN FUN!
My Brothers are coming in on Thursday and I am super excited I LOVE THEM....they are super fabulous and fantastic....
The Little Bigger than me Forrest....
Also the Little Bigger than me Aaron....
He is far cooler than me....
Also I just want to state that I got the short jeans and I am not happy about it.
I recently learned that X's on your hands represent Straight Edge.....
meaning keeping your body clean...
through abstaining from....
- Drugs
- Alchol
- and random sex without a commited relationship....
you learn something new eveyday....now that I think of it Kacy might have told me this before but im not sure.....
I do this already but I havn't figured out if its for the same reason to some extent it is but.....
Kacy or Annabell whatever your name is....I don't know if I did scene right you might have to help me when I am in town....
That was for you.....
Dinner was seriously the best part of my day. we tryed to see how many words we could fit into one beat.....it becomes difficult when you start with hippopotomos and end with rhinosoarous.....
I now know how to sing opra it takes alot of stretching....my cousin can teach you if you would like to learn.
So I am going to a wedding soon and I am super excited.
Exercising is far better to gospel music I am seriouse. - I would reccomend Kirk Franklin.
My Closet is now spotless....Yippee!
It hurts me to see people looking for happiness in places that they are unable to find it.
Ok so I am seriously jealous of Jeffie and Brandon...they saw John Mayer last night and its just not fair....I am in love with continium.
Sometimes information your not looking for falls right into your lap....not good not bad its just there.
The girls love my brothers....I cant blame them they are pretty fabulous....
Stranger than Fiction was much better the 2nd time.
I have to say.....dont hurt me...that I am super excited for Highschool musical 2.
Ashley darling we must start church hopping....
Some of our friends at Bay Street are crushing on the
Da Bada Bing boys
......you know who you are....
and
We won't mention names.....
If you give the David the chance he will embaress you.
I am a friend of Emily...Emily Stine that is.....
This is what happens in the bathroom at A Third Place...
Phill, Julia, and Phill's Mom and I had lots of fun at the Emily Show....Timothy was well lame....
speaking of Timothy....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. TIMOTHY TURNER!
Are you turning 22 or 75?
I AM GOING TO COLORADO IN 2 WEEKS!
YAY!
I have lots of fun things I want to do here is my list.....
* Slam
* Smallville party well about a two day smallville party....
* Red Rocks
* Day trip to the mountians
* Tea leaves - yum
* Just be downtown
* Celestial Seasonings
* Play in Boulder
* Go to church....I am excited about that.
* Just hang out.
* Chalking (This is your warning watch out)
* Take alot of pictures
* Play Cards
* Eat Del Taco
* Eat Noodles -n- Company - I have been craving it for months.
* Work out every day...I wonder how the altitude is going to affect me?
* Geo-Cashing
* Go hiking
* Hit an open mic night
* Play with my dog
* Listen to musicals
-introduce Spring Awakening and
The Last Five Years
* Blast music while driving with the windows down.
* See a CYT show....is their one?
* Go on Adventures
* Major Scavenger hunt....major way bigger than last time...
* Bigger and Better Party - Marci we are not too old
* The Gay Cat Lair (sp?) for old times sake.... (maybe...not sure about this one)
* Treasure hunt....
* Drink yummy tea...
* Lay on Marci's roof....
* Watch movies....
* Steal food from Marci's refridgerator
* Play with old friends
* Go to the theatre...
* GO CAMPING....
* Have dance parties
* Attend a super fantastic wedding...
* Go to the Bovine Metropolis for a little improve...
* Swing Dancing
* Leave people some fabulous things....* Read a book in the park
* Have a picnic
JUST HAVE A FUN TIME.....
Do you think we can fit it all in?
Ok so there is most likly more for me to tell you but....I am blank....so.......
HAVE A SUPER FANTASTIC UTTERLY UNBELIEVIABLE DAY!
oh and
HAPPY FATHERS DAY!
hd

I'm not hiding anymore....

Originally Posted May 19th 2007

So if you havn't noticed I have been in hiding for the last few weeks.......:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
I am now out....sort of.....because the world is making me.....
If I could I would hide for much longer....im not ready to handle this......
(But Marci, Jeff, and Katie won't let me)
If I have not talked to you and you have been calling me incessantly that's because I was ignoring you....SORRY....
Most of you know why, If you don't then you can ask.....
Thank you to all of you who came to support me....
In other news.....
Ashley has a terrible picture of me up.....TAKE IT DOWN....
I am so excited for s u m m e r !
Funerals are difficult....
Lockets are fantastic and help to remember.
There is something about holding a large hand and being engulfed.
Jeff and Katie are coming to see me Tuesday....YIPEE!
I need ideas of things we should do....here's what I've got so far.....
1. Disney
2. Beach
3. Love, Sex, and the IRS.
4. Maybe some Fringe (anyone seen some good ones?)
5. ?
HELP ME!
My Cousin Timothy just graduated! CONGRATS!
I am in love with Celebration I want to live there!
Hannah Banana is now 8 Wahoo!
It's my Sister and my Nephew's Birthday too!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Shona, Zach, and Hannah!
I chopped my hair off a while ago...but I don't know if I mentioned that.....
YPT summer camp is coming up its going to be lots of fun!
I am far too pale but I don't want skin cancer.......
Bathing suit shopping anyone....Ashley?
I don't know I can't think of other things........
um.....
Oh my littlest cousin well great cousin Hayden is adorable.....far too cute for words....
I may
More to come later!

The Last Month of my life...

Originally Posted April 12th 2007

Ok so this blog is going to be random thoughts from this past month....I'm sorry I haven't written this month things have been beyond busy.....
So here we go.....
"I wish I was a duck because people would feed me bread"
" You make my arm happy"
-Those who have uttered those words make me smile!
My daddy is now back in Colorado! Yay...I'm sure my mother is happy about that!
I was almost attacked by a snake at school...who I shared the grass with (While sleeping). Then my Aunt Karen told me her terrorized by snake stories and I now have an irrational fear of snakes...AHHHHHH!
Disney may truly be THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH!
Just so you know 4 adults should not ride the tea cups of death together too many!
JoAnn now has blonde hair, but when we did it it was a fabulous orange!
Oh and JoAnn you should stick to the Mohawk it looks good on you!
Thank you to Julia, JoAnn, Casey, and Ashlette for saving me in my time of need!
Ashlette specifically for saving me from a melt down with ...things like this....
"You can't throw the baby out with the bathwater because then all you have is a wet, critically injured baby."
DBPLSRRU? is going oh so well....if your still interested in seeing it call fast their are less then 15 tickets available for Sat. and then its gone forever!
VITAMIN WATER is an addiction!
I saw tour it was alot of fun! Great Job guys!
Marcellee Williams who I love ? was freaking out...is not anymore but has ditched me and never calls me!
JoAnn and I had an interesting adventure at the mall....JoAnn you shop at places that suprise me!
I like Frogs...ringtones, and real ones that should not jump out in front of cars.
Trees in Florida are gorgeous....so green!
I love to lay in the grass but, you never know what could be lurking in there!
People are gross....as I'm sitting here and this guy pretty much chased down this girl who was not interested (for a good reason) in the creepiest way I have ever seen....
Ice cream is always better in the shape of Mickey Mouse.
I'm really excited about Mocha Club....it is a great way to make a difference check it out at https://www.africanleadership.org/mochaclub/join/3809/
"Be the change you want to see in the world" -Mahatma Gandhi
Sometimes I do things and I don't know why....I'm sorry.
People don't seem to respect me when they first meet me...this makes me sad.
I am craving some kind of oriental food...mmmmm
Thai Basil
is calling my name!
Sometimes I don't understand peoples relationships...and then I think... Why should I? and... Why should I care?
Trying to explain Easter to children is difficult. Its hard to explain why someone being killed is happy. Its really a difficult concept to understand for children.
I'm realizing I don't own enough black clothing.
I am in love with a new musical called
Spring Awakening...
it's the new RENT check it out. This is a musical that will touch this generation. And its about Germany in the 1900's....imagine that.
Ashley your CD is coming.
I have been having a hard time thinking that their is no hope for the world. Luckily a little boy shattered that terrible thought with one little statement...
"I think pirates should know Jesus" -yeah their is nothing better than that!
SNAKES REALLY FREAK ME OUT!
Some people suprise you.
I need to figure out exactly when I am going to home sweet home...fabulous Colorado!
Jeff and Katie are coming to see me....I am ecstatic...we need to talk about the decisions made in the last week.
Totally ?......you know what comes next...Julia, Phillie, and Boy Ashley. -Who totally abused that song on the way to the beach!
-Apple Sauce butter brick boiled potato and a pickle.
-I have the best kids!
I'm not really a waitress if you were wondering.
Yogurt covered raisins no matter what they lead you to believe are bad for you.
Cheesy tater tots-GROSS! (just ask Suzy- O- Town)
Subway makes me smile!
I wish boys would stay good. And I suppose some do.
Epcot countries should open at 8:30 am.
People I grew up with are getting married....From Kindergarten....it's freaking me out ALLOT!
I am at the moment ADDICTED to the New John Mayer CD.
I mean it is just pure happiness.....
Until next time...

Melting Down...

Originally posted March 25th 2007

Tonight I had a melt down...
not a sort of upset meltdown, but one of those where you cant breath and feel like your going to make yourself throw up because you cant get enough air melt downs.
Have you ever had something that you cant control just come at you so strongly that you cant take it?
I wish that bad things never happened that I could ensure that certian things would not happen...but I cant.
And that makes me angry....
tonight I was yet again faced with the terrifying realization that one in every three women WILL be raped.
I knew this its not something new, but everytime it comes up I cant handle it. Their is something deep down in my soul that wont let me just let it pass.
I also came to the sad realization that thier are lawyers who do nothing but take care of these cases....who could tell you stories that would make you throw up. I am just not sure how to be ok?
I was shocked to find that women who I know as strong have come across this.
It struck too close to home.
I am NOT ok with this.
I refuse to except it.....and after being told that hiding was not an option either(which I am aware of, but not necessarily ok with) I realize that I have to face the problem....
But, I dont know how.
I dont know how to avoid something that terrifying....
i dont know how to fix this problem...but I know I have to work to.
I dont think this is making very much sense because im too sick to even be coherent....
All I know right now is that I :
1. Need to get new pepper spray.
2. Take a self defence class.
3. Do something.

I feel like this was scattered, but it was also therapeutic. This makes me think of either Petes, or Marcis sayings....I cant remember whos this is
" Be the change you want to see in the world."
"bring it to the table. bring what i am able"